


It started with some gatorade

by turnyourfavgay



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Drunkenness, Friendship, Gen, This is pure crack, Wylie is a good friend, fitz gets drunk off wine cause you know he would, its kinda short but whatever, keefe and tam are dumbasses, spicy forbidden gatorade, wylie is aro ace it isnt mentioned but fuck you he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnyourfavgay/pseuds/turnyourfavgay
Summary: This is a crackfic about the keeper crew and their weird-ass dynamic. Everyone except Wylie and Marella are drunk. They have Sunday dinner together and it's very chaotic.
Relationships: Keefe Sencen & Tam Song, Wylie Endal & Linh Song, implied Linh/Marella, implied keefe/Tam
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	It started with some gatorade

**Author's Note:**

> well I wrote it. why?? we will never know. but her is the chaotic Sunday diner fic you were promised. also, spicy forbidden Gatorade is mentioned.

Wylie was eyeing the flour warily when a soft knock sounded through the room. He opened the door to find Linh smiling warmly back at him. She crossed the threshold of the house, entering the kitchen to wash her hands.

“So is everyone coming tonight?” Linh asked, drying her hands off on a towel. When Wylie nodded she nudged him away from the cabinets to grab more ingredients. They fell into the familiar routine of Linh doing most of the work while Wylie hovered.

It had been a good forty minutes of casual conversation and comfortable silence when another person came through the door. Keefe didn’t bother to knock simply barging in followed by Fitz who apologized for Keefe’s rudeness. There was no point anymore they had all become used to Keefe walking into any of their houses unannounced. 

Keefe must have come directly from his job at foxfire cause he was still in uniform. Fitz on the other hand was wearing his average cape and crown outfit. Keefe sat down at the counter stealing some food from the plate Linh was working on.

Fitz opened up the fridge pulling out a bottle of wine. Wylie sighed heavily, which Fitz pointedly ignored. Fitz poured himself a generous glass of wine taking a seat next to Keefe. 

“Leredon that little gremlin ditched out on detention today,” Keefe began, “I was the one in charge, it wasn’t even bad I just made everyone taste different flavors of DNA strips”

Despite his complaints, Leredon was one of Keefe’s favorite students and took him under his wing much like Elwin did for Keefe. Keefe took after Elwin in more ways than one, just like Elwin the flavors that Keefe picked for the strips were weird and almost always disgusting, for funsies.

The kitchen gradually began filling up to the point where Linh had to pull Marella aside and ask her to get everyone to leave. The group eventually migrated to the dining room scattering around the table. 

Marella hung back in the kitchen assuring Wylie that _yes it’s fine, yes I’ll help Linh_. Linh had left the apartment they shared in Atlantis before Marella had gotten home. They lived in Atlantis as a big fuck you to Tam and Linh’s parents. Linh had heard enough of “you can’t be around water” for a lifetime so she decided to move to the place with the most water in the Elvin world.

“Hey, dumbasses come help carry the food” Marella called out. Keefe and Sophie begrudgingly walked into the kitchen, seeing as they were the ones elected to go help. They gathered up the plates and placed them on the table.

Everyone sat down and began to eat, it was nice. Pleasant conversation was held between everyone, well at least until Keefe and Tam started arguing.

“I’m telling you,” Tam said hotly “Lynette’s product is better, it grows hair faster”  
“Well that’s obvious pretty boy,” Keefe leaned forward tugging on a strand of his shoulder-length hair that still had his trademark silver tips, “but we’re talking overall, and Ivy has good volume control.”  
“You’re forgetting about watered Violet” Dex chimed in from across the table which led to a chorus of groans and obnoxious giggling from Fitz who was just past tipsy.

Everyone moved back into the kitchen once they finished eating and Biana and Tam moved to do the dishes. At this point, it was common knowledge Fitz drank just so he didn’t have to help clean up but no one could really do anything about it.

Marella was pulling various bottles of liquor out of the cabinet next to the fridge and placing them precariously on the counter.   
“Yo Wylie,” Marella called from where she was standing on the counter rifling through the cabinets “Where do you keep that human Gatorade thing”  
“Above the fridge”

Marella set seven cocktail glasses down on the counter filling them half-way with liquor and topping it off with Gatorade. Keefe reached for one and Marella slapped his hand away. Marella ignited a flame passing it over the glasses setting them aflame.

Wylie was watching from the corner of the kitchen with concern but also at least a little bit of curiosity as everyone picked up a glass. Tam grinned a little manically downing the glass in one shot. If he scorched his throat beyond repair no one needed to know. 

Keefe followed quickly not wanting to be one-upped. Sophie was next choking a little as she drank it. Biana drank it barely wincing. Dex yelped a little bit when it touched his lips. Linh drank it without a sign that anything was off. Marella suspected she did some weird water trick but whatever. Fitz… well, Fitz left his drink untouched.

They somehow found themselves in Wylie’s guest room gathered around Biana and Keefe. Well, except for Linh who was cuddling an elephant plant in the corner. Keefe was sitting in a chair in the middle of the room while Biana applied makeup onto his face. 

Keefe stumbled up to the mirror gushing about how pretty he looked. Tam patted his arm and guided him back down the stairs albeit a little wobbly, but definitely fairing better than Keefe who may or may not have definitely been a lightweight. 

Sophie was the last one to go down the stairs. She took a couple steps down then stumbled a little reaching desperately for the hand railing. Her coordination was a little off causing her to tumble down the stairs landing in a heap near the bottom. Wylie was the first to reach her, he had heard her scream and was not intoxicated like everyone else was. 

“Shit,” he breathed out gently moving Sophie into a sitting position. Her eyes were unfocused and there was a gash across her forehead. Marella came up behind him leaning over Sophie.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Marella asked surprisingly calm in this situation.   
“None,” Sophie said a little faintly. 

Marella put down the four fingers she was holding up. Looking over at Keefe who had called his dad as soon as he saw Sophie’s state. 

When Elwin showed up at the door he looked disgruntled, to say the least. His hair messier than usual and wearing a bathrobe. Tam looked up from where he was sitting tears forming in his eyes.

“I’ve missed you,” Tam said words slurring. Elwin shook his head fondly ruffling Tam’s hair as he walked by. He entered the living room where Wylie had laid Sophie down on the couch. 

Elwin ran some quick tests confirming Marella’s suspicion of a concussion. He gave Sophie an elixir. Telling everyone that if they didn’t move her too much she would be fine by morning.

“Bye kids,” Elwin said as he closed the door behind him, leaving to get his well-deserved rest.   
Marella and Linh followed closely after. Keefe and Tam were next. Followed by a giggling Fitz and Dex trying his best in his current state.

“Night,” Wylie mumbled rubbing his forehead as he made his way up the stairs. 

Biana was staring at the glass left on the table a little too intently for someone who was sober, eventually collapsing onto a chair next to Sophie. Well, that was chaos, was Biana’s last thought as she lost consciousness.


End file.
